The man was walking the beach on Christmas morning and was remembering a Christmas long ago when he was fourteen. He could see himself sitting on the old couch in his family's small living room in their upstairs apartment as if it were just yesterday. The boy was watching the flashing lights on the modest Christmas tree and thinking how beautiful they were. It was past midnight on Christmas morning, and he had stayed up to accomplish his secret mission. He was waiting to be sure that his mother, his two younger brothers, and his younger sister were asleep. He was in no hurry, for he was savoring the moments. He had gotten home from working at the bowling alley just after midnight, and he was still chilled from the long walk home on this bitterly cold Nebraska night. But he had enjoyed the walk in spite of the cold and snow, because it had been so peaceful and quiet and he was full of excitement over his mission.

He was just drifting now and thinking about the conversation he had had with his mother several days before. She had waited up for him until he had gotten home from work, which was rare since she had to go to work so early in the morning. She looked upon him as sort of the male head of the family, and he was very proud of that for he loved his mother very much; more than most children love their mothers because he knew how much hell and disappointment she had suffered over the years. Yet in spite of all those terrible times she'd been through, she loved her children with great passion and had never lost her optimism that things would be better for them.

His mother had told him that this Christmas would have to be very modest, because her meager paycheck was just covering their living expenses and she had not been able to save very much aside. In spite of that, she had asked him what he wanted most for Christmas. The truth was that he did want one thing desperately, but it was not inexpensive, and certainly beyond his mother's ability to buy it for him. In fact, he had saved what amounted to over several hundred hours of his low hourly wages in order to buy his treasured item and he now had enough money to do so. As he looked into his mother's eyes, he could see that she was worried that he might ask for something she could not give him. So he had named something that was very inexpensive, and then had had to convince his mother that it really was the thing he wanted.

He stayed up after their conversation and had thought about it for quite a while. The next day, which was one of his rare days off, he took all of his savings and went shopping for his mother, his brothers, and sister. He bought each of them something very special and had just barely enough money to do so. Then he had walked to his place of work, wrapped the gifts and left them there until this evening. When he had arrived home from work tonight, he had quietly left them on the stairs leading up to their apartment just inside their door. In just a little while he would go get them, place them under the tree, and then go to bed. He had to work tomorrow, but he would have time to open presents with his family first, and he was so excited about seeing them open his gifts to them. He smiled at the thought of the thing he had saved for and had wanted so much. It was funny how unimportant it seemed to be now. It was going to be a very, very good Christmas. And it was. As the man walked on down the beach, the tears that were falling from his eyes were ones of remembrances, joy, and love.

dennis j hopkins ~ 12/1993
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